Time for a big confession: I’m falling madly in love with a Jewish Midget.
We met a week ago at Mercury Bar after this jerk asked me out in front of his girlfriend. I was so repulsed I ran down the block, ducked into the bar, and leaned up against a wall to get my drunken bearings. That’s when he started talking to me–a voice from below.
At first I didn’t pay him much attention but minutes later he had me doubled over in laughter. That’s right–the midget made me laugh with my entire body until I thought I couldn’t stand up anymore.
OK ok, he wasn’t really a midget, he was just my height. Exactly. Without shoes on. And Jewish.
Next thing I know, we’re next door having pizza, outside side sharing a cigarette, then back in the bar, making out in a booth to Shakira’s ‘Hips Don’t Lie’. I just couldn’t get enough of him, everything about him was intoxicating. It was like magic. He got me and I got him.
Every guy in the bar stared at us in total disbelief. Me with my voluptous, sexy curves and newly blonde hair, and him, buried half way in my boobs on the dancefloor.
The next day he texted me: Hey suga. I was immediately in love.
Last night we went on our first date–possibly the best first date I’ve had in years. I figured I didn’t want to play games. He wont marry me anyways, I’m not Jewish. So we had sex. (Let me say, not everything about him was dwarfed). 3 times.
Sigh. So this is love.
